R.I.P

I have seen an old person with a huge telephone book. He maintained the Names and contact information of all friends and acquaintances right from his college days. When someone in his telephone book died he used to strike out his/her name. It seemed to be fun for this old gentleman. It gave him a sense of power. He did not strike out the dead persons name immediately after returning back from the funeral but waited for six weeks.

He once told me, "if you are my friend, if your name is in my book, you will be allowed to stay in it only for six weeks after your funeral". He then gave an explanation,"It is not fair to strike out the name immediately, there should be some buffer or honey moon period and that is six weeks".

"What the hell? I am not your friend" was my answer.

Then I started thinking about how people react to death. Consider a circumstance where two people meet on a road. They see each other and say "Hi".

"Do you know? Harry died yesterday?"

"Harry? I saw him yesterday?"

Yes, did not help. He died anyway. Apparently a simple act of you seeing him did not slow his cancer down. In fact it might have made it more aggressive. You know, you could be responsible for Harry’s death. How can you live with yourself now?

There is another thing people normally say after death. This is normally said to the spouse of the dead. They say, “Listen, If there is anything I can do for help, anything, please do not hesitate to ask me”.

What the heck? People who say that are a bluff, they do not help. Are they going to resurrect the dead? When you come across a person like that, tell him,” Why don’t you paint my house “or if you do not like that person you can say,”The septic tank at home is overflowing”, Can you clean it up “.

Some people say this to family of the deceased,” he will always be in my thoughts”.

“What thoughts? Where? “ “Exactly where in your thoughts would he be”

All these things are just said by people for the sake of saying. Nobody questions what they say. It is become more of a formality to say such things.

I believe that people who really feel sad and unhappy about the departed do not say anything just for the sake of saying. They just cry inside in their hearts. They do not wait for the family of the deceased to ask for help instead they just help even before a request comes by.